July 2, 2012
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This is it.
I can't truly write this and mean it... As much as a I really want to say:
I have missed this place.
I feel it would be a lie...
I have not read a single blog in months... I have lost interest. It seems the world... Has stopped waiting on me... To piece myself back together.
... I cannot blame it.
There's a vast emptiness which I yearn to fill... I have realized... In the past... 5 months or so that it's impossible to fill any of the voids I want to...
I have come to some realization that I just need to accept that my issues will always be apart of me... And always there... Just below the surface.
There's no point in me writing this... I doubt any of you still read this... Nor really care....
There's always that thought in the back of my head... That no one really cares... People are always more interested in the problems of people... And the drama it gives them... The fulfillment of solving someone's problem... Than really caring about the person it came from...
I really wish... All my problems could be whisked away... And perhaps swept under the rug... Yet... They're always right there... Forever waiting... One after the next... Exponentially waiting... And testing me.
Quite frankly.. [I.Have.Given.Up]
For those of you who have commented and kept me in your brief thoughts from time to time... Thank you.
... It hasn't been forgotten.
Unlike me.
Keep writing... Keep living... Keep breathing...
... Keep being beautiful.
Comments (5)
I actually thought about you and said a small prayer for you just today! I hope that you do stick around, and write just when you feel like it. People do notice.
I pray for you all the time! I haven't been on Xanga for about the past month because I've been traveling and on silent retreat. If you'd like to keep in touch via email send me a Xanga message and I'll give you my address!
@NightCometh - You know you two are both in Texas now; you ought to arrange a little Xanga meet!
I just wanted to let you know: I read. I care.
whether you believe it or not, I still care. and so long as I'm here, and you're still writing, I still read. don't ever doubt either of those things.
good to hear from you again.
I've had dry spells, months and years.
It happens.
Just keep Xanga up and someday you may want to come back.
My fucking problem lately is that no one is here, anymore. Most of my old Xanga friends are gone. Mai and you seldom post. Ricks doesn't even log in, anymore. Raven is too busy with his chickens to post on Xanga.
A lack of comments makes posting less appealing.
I'm guilty of not commenting because I never know WTF to say, anymore.
I'm going to go drink Pumpkin Spice flavored coffee, paint my nails and have staring contests with my cat. I wish Xanga was still more active. It was a much fucking healthier and more entertaining past time.
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