April 6, 2013

• Compartments

  I feel a vast emptiness which seems to be spreading throughout my whole being... Simply defining every aspect of me. 

  The connections to people I have yearned for... For what now seem an eternity, simply does not matter... I have closed you out, pushed you away, and for some reason... It appears to be alright.

  I will not say it does not matter... It does. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would feel like to read those lines on a screen... I have undeniably always felt too much. Apathy will never become me, empathy is what I strive for... And I felt it, I saw it. I promise, it will be worth it, dear. Maybe not now, but trust me, it will all be worth it in the long run.

  Everyone deserves something they believe they cannot have. They deserve sanity, which I cannot possibly give them. Instead, they say I am not a burden, and try to reassure me that everything is fine. It is the same thing I tell them when reality says it is just the opposite. It is simply what our eyes... Choose not to see. You deserve... The world. Mostly, you deserve one less headache that is known as Shawn Ashley. While you have not chosen to walk away, for some insane reason, I have chosen it for you.. Because you deserve it... And no... Not because I want to hurt you... Because you deserve better, dear.

  Everyone deserves better.

  I simply cannot offer it... So I am going to stop trying.

  The door is closing, and when it shuts, it is going to stay that way... Because it is the only honest thing I can give you all, to protect you, and to stop you from hurting.

  When it closes, dear, don't even bother searching for the key... It's in a place no one will ever find... And where most of you will never bother to look.

  Love from,

  Blaze  & Company

  • 8:44 pm
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