May 20, 2013
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Love
I do not understand illogical broken... Thinking.
I have more than enough irrational thoughts to... Make up for most people... But all of my irrational thoughts cannot seem to beat someone's one irrational thought...
I have been thinking... A lot... The past few days... And these thoughts... Have crossed my mind.. Because I figured out some great mathematical equation.
You once told me that you like to hurt things you find beautiful... And for a time now... I have been told.. That you simply cannot be with someone you love...
I cannot grasp this concept... Because I have helped your system more.. Than anyone has... And probably ever will... Or I could be completely wrong... I seem to be told one thing, and then I am told the opposite by someone else... I simply don't know... Who to believe any longer... Or if I can trust any of you... At all...
I have been labelled a weakness... By someone in your system... And for you to want to kill your weakness... Seems... Contrary to what it really is... What I really am...
I am your strength.
You would kill the one thing that makes you better... Because... Your angel is... Right... You cannot handle love...
So you would kill it... Instead of having the person you want... Help you to understand it.
I want this to be perfectly clear...
I would never leave you... Never... Ever.
I have tolerated more from you already than anyone probably ever will... If that is not proof enough... I don't know what will be... For you, love... There is nothing you are forcing me to do..., it's something I want to do.
I cannot comprehend how you could love me... And then proceed to want me dead... But on the same hand... I could kill myself... And you would kill yourself to be with me... It makes absolutely no sense.
The thing that does make sense... Is that the closer I do get... To you... The more distant you become... I deal with your alters... More than I get to hear from you... I get why... But, love, it doesn't need to be that way...
I believe... I could help you... More than anyone could ever help you... I have the magic fairy dust... Laced with unicorn glitter... To make it a reality... You won't let me... Or...
Either that... I am too delusional... And I really thought that I was special enough... Where you would never think you are undeserving... And would want to destroy the one thing... That makes you happy... I am sorry you want to be miserable... If that is the case... There is another possibility..
Or.. I allowed you too close... To me... And allowed you to manipulate me... Into believing whatever it was... You had to tell me...
I don't know which...
But nonetheless, my broken soul is still craving you... And I want you to devour it...
I love you, eternally.
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